Friday, June 29, 2012

Defense Attorneys are reeeeally ZOMBIES!!! RAWR!!!

Song for this post: "Zombie Apocalypse" ~ Vaski

OMG So we FINALLY had a Friday staff meeting! I mean, they have. But I haven't been able to go for a while. 

I already forgot most of it because I drank wine (shocker!) but there are a few memorable things worth pointing out:
  1. I. Hate. Tourists. Srsly you guys. They suck. They walk slow; they stop in the middle of the street; they take pictures of stupid shit like pre-chewed gum stuck to alleyways; they drive Segways. I hate them. So it was cathartic (in a bad way) when we left the bar and got held up by tourists taking pictures of the gum wall ON Segways. Really?!?! Do you realize what you've become?!?! Here's what you've become.
  2. We all know about my rule that I don't date attorneys anymore. So thank God for that. But I never put two and two together that Dahmer was an attorney. I mean, you'd really have to be a sociopath to eat someone's face. And you'd really have to be a sociopath to be a defense attorney. So, in basic mathematics it stands to reason:

Oh and, for once in my life, I got to educate someone on the proper use of a semicolon*. It used to be my Sissy educating me. Now it's me, educating coworkers.

Don't eff with the semicolon, people. A-holes like me (and there's lots of us) will judge you harshly for it.

*See item 1 in bulleted list for proper use.

Lastly, in hunting for a song for this post, I stumbled on this and I love her. Thank you Spotify!

And THIS is hilarious! I love Patton Oswalt.


Conversation with my Sissy about this post:

You'd better get rid of that apostrophe in "attorney's" or I'm not gonna finish reading the post.
Okay, that's a lie. I already finished it.
But do it, frlz:P

Okay fuck. I'm tipsy. Doin' it now. 


  1. Um I just noticed that, on the graphic I spliced together, the face-eating zombie has a little tie. So cute. :)