Monday, June 11, 2012

My depression is effing hilarious

Song for this post: "I Hope You Dance"  Leann Womack

Gah. I'm overposting. I know it means my readership will suffer (Go ahead. Try to defy this post saturation!) but I just keep running into little gems of internet gold.

I went to lunch with my friend Nick today. You know, Nick. The one at left (see conversation) and top (see The Beardening) and in like, every other post. That Nick.

Anyway, we went to Dim Sum and he reminded me of a blog he told me about this last Saturday night when I had too much red wine in my system to remember my own name:

Hyperbole & A Half

Go follow it. Now.

I just read this post on there about depression. TONS of people struggle with depression (The Bloggess, for one). TONS of people struggle with bipolar disorder (Me, for one). Given, I've been stable and happy as a clam for years so saying I "struggle" with it isn't really true. But that wasn't without a shitton of effort, self-awareness and stubborn determination.

So there's this post. It's about being sad. When I started reading it I felt that little pit in my stomach that was telling me, "I can identify with that. I hate that feeling." And so I thought the post was going to be super poignant. And it was. But it was also hilarious. Effing hilarious. And then I felt a little guilty because I thought, "Other people who struggle with sadness would be angry with me for laughing at this." And then it dawned on me:

That's the point! We're SUPPOSED to laugh! If we can't laugh at ourselves and ease up what the hell are we doing?!?  Regardless of what you're going through, if you can't take a moment to laugh, to smile, to giggle at the self pity we, as humans, are SO good at, you're missing out.  It's those little breaks in between spitting in your Cheerios, that make it easier to cope. I thought about the times in my younger years, before I had a handle on my emotional state, that I'd just stay in bed for days and I laughed. I thought about when I'd watch the same movie over and over again or listen to the same song and I laughed. I laughed and I laughed and I laughed. Because, even though all of those feelings I had (and have) are valid, I'm also funny. I'm funny because I'm flawed and silly and occasionally wallow in my own self pity and it's ridiculous.

So thanks, Hyperbole & A Half, for reminding me to chill out. :)

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