Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Hello house. I like you.

Song for this post: "Home" ~ Michael Buble'

Good news!

Welcome home, me.

Click for more photos

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Bonjour, Girl!

Song for this post: "Stupid Cupid" ~ Connie Francis

Another weekend past.  What do you have to say for yourself, me?

This weekend boasted a few memorable moments:

Friday, January 27, 2012

"Little latin boy in drag, why are you crying?"

Song for this post: "She's A Lady" ~ Tom Jones

Well, that's it folks. January prohibition is officially over. I realize it's 3 days early but, you know what, I had a really good day at work following a really shitty week at work and my boss and I thought it deserved a celebration.

So how did we celebrate, you ask?

Monday, January 23, 2012

Rawwwwr! I'm a snow monster!!!

Song for this post: "Bad Kids" ~ Black Lips

Seattle Snowpocalypse 2012 is in remission (in most areas) and what do I have to show for it?

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Wherever they land, there shall they be buried!

It snowed in Seattle...

While most of the country would say, "so what," Seattlites act like it's the GD end of the world.  And, even though the reaction is wholly overblown, I suppose we do have some valid reasons for the hysteria:

Wednesday, January 18, 2012


Song for this post:  Has been removed by the United States government.

███ ██ █ ████ everything ███ █████ is █████ ████ ████ fine ████ ███ █ ██████ trust █████ ██████ ███ your █████ ████ government.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

"Politics have no relation to morals" ~ Niccolo Machiavelli

Song for this post: "Township Rebellion" ~ Rage Against the Machine

Fear got the best of you and in your panic, you turned to the now President in command Barack Obama. He promised you order. He promised you peace. And all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent.

Okay. So let's talk about the SOPA issue. We may as well...everyone else is.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Jessica Lange rocks my socks.

Song for this post: "Submariner" ~ Axwell

It finally snowed in Seattle. I'm disappointed, actually. Last year it was a nightmarish shit show. This year?  It's less than 24 hours later and everything is pretty much back to normal.  But that didn't stop me from the eccentric behavior I pride myself on so much.

What did I do to enjoy the snow?

Friday, January 13, 2012

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Who wants to go on a roller coaster?

Song for this post: "Skyscraper" Demi Lovato

This has been a particularly challenging week and I'm thankful it's nearly over.

Monday marked exactly one year since something horrible happened to me that turned my world upside down, effed up every single one of my personal relationships, and had my sanity and ability to emote on hiatus for the duration of 2011. It's been difficult getting through this week without thinking about it. I'm thankful that year has passed. Someday I'll talk about it. The problem is, when people say you should talk about it, they don't ACTUALLY want to hear it.  Things like that are hard to hear.

Best. Love song. Ever.

Song for this post: "Rosa Morena" ~ Kurt Elling

Anyone who knows me well can tell you I'm pathologically obsessed with Kurt Elling. Have been since I was 15.  I've seen him multiple times in concert and regularly check his website to see when he's coming back to the NW. I've sung a number of his songs in various jazz groups. I know his entire catalog by heart.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Oompa Loompas are sexy!

Song for this post: "I Wanna Sex You Up" ~ Color Me Badd

I look just like every other girl in the financial district in downtown Seattle. I have black boots, black leggings, and a black Jackie O inspired coat that's fitted at the waist.  Sometimes I wear a scarf.  It's like the "downtown Seattle" unifrom. Kinda redic.

Spinning in to straw...

Hey guess what I'm doing in my free time?

It's a vocal jazz piece that's been sitting in my head for years. I've just never written it down. And now I am.

Sort of exciting. I forgot how much fun composing music is!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

You may say I'm a dreamer...

Song for this post: "Imagine" ~ Covered by Jack Johnson

I don't even know where to begin with today's news.  Honestly.  Oklahoma is trying to ban recognition of Sharia Law?  That's in direct violation of the First Amendment.  I realize it wouldn't be the first time the constitution (which has really become more of a suggestion) has been stomped on but really?!?!  It's not like we don't already have enough Muslim bigotry going on in our country right now. Let's just polarize US citizens a little more by building it into our judicial doctrine.

Easter Egg

Song for this post: "Prelude To A Kiss" ~ Kurt Elling*

Here, have a teaser of something I'm not going to tell you about:

...Isn't that SO obnoxious!?!?

*If you're not familiar with Kurt Elling, SERIOUSLY listen to this playlist on my Spotify account. You're welcome.

"He caught me"

Song for this post: "Sweet Disposition" ~ Temper Trap

As many may know, I made the decision in early December not to drink at all during the month of January.  After what was a very turbulent year, and a holiday season that was chalk full of festivities, I figured I needed a month to detox and return to the discipline and structure I thrive so well on.

I'm 10 days in...

Friday, January 6, 2012

Aldous Huxley can suck it.

Song for this post: "Complicated" ~ Rihanna

Okay. It's not like I'm trying to blog about my dating life (or lack thereof) so much lately. I've just been thinking about what the eff I did in the last year and, by extension, my life.

I took stock this week of the top long-term "relationships" I've had.  I use that term broadly.  I came up with an interesting connecting thread:

ALL of them LOVED the book "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley.  I've never read it, but I feel like I should know what the big damn deal is since, apparently, there's some cosmic correlation between douchebags and Mr. Huxley.  So I downloaded it to my Kindle App and started it on the bus this morning.

A few chapters in and I already get it:


Song for this post: "More Than Words" ~ Extreme

As we discussed in this post, my new year's resolution was to delete my dating profiles, and it made me think about the way I interact with men, how I behave on dates, and some of the fun I've had in the last year...like the lying game.  That was fun.

For a good chunk of last year we had a running joke in our house (I have two female roommates) about what a disaster the dating pool was.  I should say again, as I said in the aforementioned previous post (I know that sounds grammatically redundant but I promise you, it's not), I dated a couple of really fantastic guys last year. On the whole, though, it was sort of a shit show.

So, in an effort to have some fun with the disastrous dates we were going on I made up a game: The Lying Game.  Here's how it went down:

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Courtney Love protection totem

I don't know who writes this blog but this guy is effing hilarious.

And it's true. Seattle is the best city in the continental United States....perhaps even the other two states as well...and Guam...and Palmyra Atoll.

...Okay. Maybe not that last one. US owned island nature conservatories are pretty cool.

Things Delivered To The Front Desk (2)

Song for this post: "A Very Merry Unbirthday" ~ Alice In Wonderland Soundtrack

Cuppy cakes!

Families that send embarrassing displays of cupcakes to your work for your birthday are winning. :)

These were actually delivered to the front desk in November but, since I didn't have this blog then, you get to see it now:

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

You can just call me Susan Lucci

The live in girlfriend we discussed in this post (because, apparently, "discussions" are one sided and consist of me typing and you reading) was at my gym today on my lunch. No idea what she was doing there. I've never seen her there before and had no idea what she would be doing in downtown Seattle. When I got back to the office I looked her up on LinkedIn. Turns out she works about 600 feet from my office.

So that's awesome [read: except for no].

Just when you thought the world was a big place...

My life is very much like a soap opera.


Song for this post: "Money" ~ The Flying Lizards

I absolutely adore where I work. The guys I work with are hilarious, we're super productive, creative, and we are all given a TON of freedom in our positions. Startups are where it's at. If you go back a few posts, you can read about our "office meetings" at the bar down the street.  We love "office meetings."

I have a corner office with a door that closes and a big window that looks out over downtown Seattle. I love my office. I share it with another guy who is equally as awesome as everyone else.  We get along great.

When I first started working here and was getting to know him, he mentioned once that sometimes his wife gets on him about trivial things like tapping the spoon against the bottom of the cereal bowl.  I feel for him. All of us women do things like that.

Here's where it gets tricky:

He makes this noise. Constantly.  About every 20-30 seconds on a normal day and every 5-10 when he's really focused in on something.  It's sort of a sucking sound through his front two top teeth.  It makes sort of a suck/whistle noise.  It drives me bat shit cray.  Problem is, if I say anything than I'm the obnoxious office wifey.  So I keep my mouth shut, put in headphones, and turn up the music.  He's a cool guy. I totally like working with him besides that one thing.

Me and another co-worker, my best office buddy, have been discussing it lately and trying to decide on my best plan of attack.  This was yesterday:
Me: He's making the noise again.
Coworker: How would I type that noise? tssssssssstsssssssssss?
Me: It can't be real. I'm starting to think it might be a dirty trick he's been playing to see how long it will take me to say something. He can't honestly not know he's doing it...  ::starting to be suspicious::
Coworker: Your best bet is to just snap and start yelling/dropping F bombs.
Me: Yes. That's clearly the only solution.
Coworker: I'm pretty sure it's what Jesus would do.
Me:  Bahahahaha
Coworker: And by Jesus, I mean the Spanish pronunciation and the dude that runs the taco stand in Bothell...
I love my job.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Perhaps I should solicit the opinions of close friends first...

Song for this post: "We Found Love" ~ Rihanna

I spent my lunch hour at the gym (a regular occurrence for me) watching that stupid show with Tabitha Alienface where she takes over salons and acts like she's hot shit and I'm like, "you're a stylist, chill out" and I got to thinking...I don't really have any resolutions to mark the coming of a new year.  I don't really believe in them. If you need to change, do it. Don't wait around for something silly like new year's resolutions.

But then I got to thinking some more...

What did I dislike most about 2011? When I think of the entire year on a very high level, what pops out to me as the biggest factor that needs to change?  The answer was easy:


Don't get me wrong. I dated a couple of awesome men in 2011. But the past year also marked some of the MOST catastrophic dates I've ever had in my life.  Let's recap the top 5, as a reminder of who not to date:

  1. Met him when I was out with a friend one night in late spring. Attractive, funny, complimenting, intelligent. He had just graduated law school.  He was with his friend, I was with mine. We played some pool and took off together to go back to the friend's apartment.  His friend and my friend went to do "other things" and he and I went on a walk. He held my hand. He bought me drinks. We cozied up by a fire. He started crying about how much he missed his girlfriend. He got so drunk he was stumbling and falling over. He couldn't remember where he lived...It was so romantic. I put us in a taxi and let him crash on my couch. He was gone before I woke up, apparently too embarrassed to face me. Probably for the best...
  2. Chatted with me via internet and text for weeks. Finally met up for a birthday dinner, my birthday. We sat down at the table. The waiter came and took our drink order. My date looked longingly into my eyes and said, "You are so completely unattractive and so unpretty I'm not going to stay. I mean, I'm sorry. I'm just...I'm gonna go." He left. I started crying. I left. 5 minutes later in the taxi I realized I left my phone at the table and had to go back in, with mascara all down my face. You know what kids?  2 days later I went back to that restaurant with my two roommates, sat at the SAME table and put a band-aid made of tequila on that wound and made that bar my bitch. That's how it's done, son.
  3. Picked me up in a white Porsche. Tackiest. Move. Ever.  When he opened the door for me he said, "Just so you know, I don't open doors or do nice things for people so don't get used to this."  At dinner, when I told him I didn't like gin, he yelled at me. Like, actually yelled.  That was after listening to his monologue on why cyclists are the only good people on the planet and all people who drive cars should die...excluding his Porsche, of course.
  4. Stole my cell phone, went to the bathroom and installed remote backup software on it in an attempt to steal my identity. Told me he was a Russian spy.  Cake taker? It's so hard to choose...
  5. Took me out for tapas and margaritas. Showed up in A&F jeans and a muscle shirt.  Hair was gelled into a preppy faux hawk. Spent the evening making fun of other men's jeans and saying things like, "Like, OMG!" I discovered shortly after that he loves Adam way more than Eve.  There was no goodnight kiss.
What's the lesson I learned from all of this?  Online dating makes for great storytelling. But it's also exhausting and I'm over it.

So my new year's resolution?  I'm deleting my online dating profiles.

Good bye POF. Goodbye OkC. You've been an interesting time...to say the least.

Who's got two thumbs?

Song for this post: "Look At Me Now" ~ Chris Brown

Just realized I'm a genius. Just now.

If I save each song I put in each post in a new playlist than it's reasonable to assume that, over time, I will have created the soundtrack to my life...without cheating and thinkin' the shit up off the cuff...because, when people do that they're just trying to be cool and interesting by listing obscure songs no one has ever heard of.

I am a winner.

This guy named Chester who I think drives a van approves.

Did I just roll through urine?

Song for this post: "Astair" ~ Matt Costa

Welcome to the last year of your lives!

Not really.  I don't subscribe to the "2012 is the end of the world" news feed...mostly because it's just utter bullshit but also because I'm not a nihilist...much.

Sure. I'll digress for a minute. The Mayans didn't actually mean "end of the world." What they actually said was "end of a cycle."  December 21, 2012 will be the first time in 26,000 years that the sun is aligned with the center of the milky way.  That's a cycle.  That's all. :)  Also, the Mayan calender, the Julian calendar, and the Greek calendar are all off by a certain number of years. Our 2012, for example, could be anywhere between 10-18 years in discrepancy. It could actually be 2022 RIGHT NOW. We'll never know. And that's why so is mankind. Brings a whole new meaning to "time is a perspective." So their end of the world being in 2012 could really be 2022, 2030, 2002, or 1994. Thanks ancestors for effing up our calendars. But it wouldn't make any difference anyway because they didn't mean "end of the world." They meant "end of a cycle." And that's this year. I think the moral of the story is to not put much stock in to shit some guy said thousands of years before modern science. Just because they're old doesn't mean they know everything.  I mean, the earth isn't actually flat, for example.


So what did I do with my NYE you ask?  I pretended like I was 22 and went to a house party in Ballard of course!  If you're going to house party it up like you're still in college it must be done in Ballard: the heart of childish partying, hippydom and excess.  Problem is, none of our 3 ordered taxis ever showed up so, at about 2 AM we started walking.  Unfortunately, we didn't realize we were walking the wrong direction so, about an hour later we found ourselves somewhere near Fremont (I think, perhaps, here). My feet (inside of my heeled boots) were killing me, and I was growing impatient. Thank God it wasn't like that time I got too drunk in Pioneer Square, convinced myself we were never finding our hotel and we were going to die there, and laid down and ROLLED down the street. Literally. In a dress. Rolled. Crying.

We finally hailed an empty taxi (impressive for NYE) and made it home sometime between 3-4 AM.

All in all a good night.

I didn't get a picture of myself, as I was too busy drinking heavily from a tippy cup I had bought for the occasion (no reloading!) but I did get this girl (if it's any indication of the good times had):

Sunday? Breakfast and then napping. all. day. 

Sunday night? Going away party.

Monday?  First run of the year and it was effing fantastic. I got to break in my new Brooks which thoroughly kick ass.  Did just over 3 miles. I know...weeny. But it's the first outdoor run I've done all winter. Can't wait for more sunlight so I can get out more.

Picture at the crest of my run:

So what's 2012 look like for me?  Well, I'm not drinking in January. I think I need a break from the debauchery.  No resolutions other than that.  I already work out. I already have an awesome job. And I already love my city. I do have a goal this year but I already had it so it's not a resolution. And I can't talk about it yet. Don't you love it when I say pointless shit with no obvious meaning? Yeah. Me too.

Welcome to 2012 everyone!