Have a seat. Snuggle up.

This is way to creepy for me to be okay with it:

Benevolent Sexism. It's so darn friendly!

This article was written by Melanie Tannenbaum in Scientific American and I LOVE IT.

The Problem When Sexism Just Sounds So Darn Friendly…

Something can’t actually be sexist if it’s really, really nice, right?

I mean, if someone compliments me on my looks or my cooking, that’s not sexist. That’s awesome! I should be thrilled that I’m being noticed for something positive!

Yet there are many comments that, while seemingly complimentary, somehow still feel wrong. These comments may focus on an author’s appearance rather than the content of her writing, or mention how surprising it is that she’s a woman, being that her field is mostly filled with men. Even though these remarks can sometimes feel good to hear – and no one is denying that this type of comment can feel good, especially in the right context – they can also cause a feeling of unease, particularly when one is in the position of trying to draw attention towards her work rather than personal qualities like her gender or appearance.

In social psychology, these seemingly-positive-yet-still-somewhat-unsettling comments and behaviors have a name: Benevolent Sexism. Although it is tempting to brush this experience off as an overreaction to compliments or a misunderstanding of benign intent, benevolent sexism is both real and insidiously dangerous.

What Is Benevolent Sexism?

Humanity shows its ugly face on the ferry

This actually just happened:

Couple #1:

Guy (in cliche trenchcoat) - I'm not going to watch the Labyrinth, if that's what you mean. I can't do it.
Girl - But it's SO. GOOD.
Guy - Or the Dark Crystal. I just can't do it.
Girl - What? Why not!??!
Guy - It's muppets. They freak me out. it's like some bizarre expose of human life.

Meanwhile, couple #2 (who's standing RIGHT NEXT TO COUPLE 1):

Guy: I feel like humanity is mocking itself.
Girl: I know riiiight?

Oh man. This kind of shit is why I don't do drugs.

Beef Island

One of the islands in the British Virgin Islands is called Beef Island. Really.

Flights to the land of beef are less than $700 roundtrip right now. This makes me want to, once again, jump into questionable territory for the sake of a good story.

This is what happens when you stop eating food...

Song for this post: "Can't Hold Us" ~ Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

I've been pretty MIA since around Christmas both online and off. It was necessary given the decision I had made about the direction my life and my health were headed. And now that I'm on my last week I'll fill you all in on what the last 2 months has been about for me:

I haven't chewed food since Christmas.

I'm not joking.

I made the decision in December to do a 30 day juice cleanse. I'd spent a lot of time being really unhealthy. Emotional trauma had lent itself to using food as comfort. I wasn't just eating too much, I was eating the wrong things and it had taken a toll on my body. I was tired, irritable, my skin was dull, my muscles hurt...I just wasn't a well person.

I'd thought about eating "clean" for a long time and, after a few forays into vegetarianism, I knew I wanted to go that direction. Something just HAD to change and I knew I wouldn't stick with it unless I reset my whole body...and my life. I decided juice cleansing was the right choice for me. I'm a HUGE advocate of the Gerson method so juicing made sense for me as a way to kick start such a huge change.

Many of you have heard about juice cleansing. Some of you have heard nightmare stories about what an awful experience it was. I don't know about other people but, for me, it was fantastic and I'll definitely be doing it again. I loved it so much that when I hit my 30 day mark, I decided to keep going.

Today is day 43. I'm on my last week of a 50 day goal. Today also marks the first time I've eaten solid food. Let me explain how it is that I have one week left but I ate solid food:

When you're juice fasting, you pretty much give your digestive system a break. So, when you complete a fast, it takes some time to get your body used to digesting food again. To come off of this properly, I'm mixing soft fruits and vegetables in with my daily juicing for this last week. I want to transition slowly and healthily so my body can reap the most benefits from this experience.

What are the benefits? It's pretty simple and comes in 2 parts:

i am an emotional creature

Here’s what you will be told:

Find a man
Seek protection
The world is scary
Don’t go out
You are weak
Don’t care so much
They’re only animals
Don’t be so intense
Don’t cry so much
You can’t trust anyone
Don’t talk to strangers
People will take advantage of you
Close your legs
Girls aren’t good with:
Numbers
Facts
Making difficult decisions
Lifting things
Putting things together
International news
Flying planes
Being in charge.
If he rapes you, surrender,
You will get killed trying to defend yourself
Don’t travel alone
You are nothing without a man
Don’t make the first move,
Wait for him to notice you
Don’t be too loud
Follow the crowd
Obey the laws
Don’t know too much
Tone it down
Find someone rich
It’s how you look that matters,
Not what you think.

Oh God I Can't Handle It!

It's just possibly the cutest thing I've ever seen, EVER.

^^Do you see him petting the kitty?!?!? Do you?!?! Gah! I can't handle it!!!

I know. Relax. Even though right now I'm telling myself, "I WANT A PET RACCOON!!!" I realize this is a totally unreasonable idea.

I mean...they could be house trainable.....

...maybe.

Oh! But that reminds me: I do have a pet raccoon. Sort of. I mean, it lives outside with the tailless squirrel who lives in my tree. Guillermo (that's the raccoon's name) scared the shit out of my best friend when she was housesitting for me. I guess she took my trash out for me (I know right?!?!? She's just lovely) and it reared up and charged at her.

Obviously NOT a raccoon I raised. If I had raised him, he would have had much better manners...Spanish Dignitary manners...Espanoles Dignitario.

"El Dignitario Espanol es muy educado!"

"Si! Estoy muy impresionado! Y un bailarín experto!

Just sayin'.

Have I told you how my sister is my best friend?

Song for this post: "Sisters" ~Rosemary & Betty Clooney

This is a continuation of this post.

Why doesn't MTV play music videos anymore?

In this installment of "Ask A Network Head," Natalie asks the head of programming at MTV why they stopped playing music videos. And gets a fun answer! Yay!

In other news, there's a digital sign above the loading dock of the ferry I take to and from work every day. It says, "vessel loading" but, for some reason, I always see, "Fear & Loathing."

Things are consistently better and more interesting in my world.

And with that, another Alice in Wonderland reference:

Clearly I've surrounded myself with the right kind of people

Song for this post: "It's Thanksgiving" ~ Nicole Westbrook

Click screenshots to enlarge

Seattle continues to be witty and irreverent

Saw this ad today in downtown Seattle on my way to my bank:

My city cracks me up. Way to maximize current affairs for advertising, Roku! 

In other news, I continue to adore the company I work for. Tonight we hosted a networking event up in Bothell with a certain member company that's doing cutting edge high-performance computing software. There was local beer, trivia, snacks, and a kick-ass photo booth that we took FULL advantage of.

I know. We look STUPIDLY happy. And we are. That's how much I love my job. These girls are the bee's.

Side effects may include...

Song for this post: "I Ain't Mad At Cha" ~ 2Pac

Aren't we all so glad the election is over? Aren't we all so glad I'm going to be blatantly irreverent again?

It's okay. Me too. Thanks for hangin' in there with me guys. It was tough. Hey! How about some awesome mid-week gangsta rap with some smooth-ass R&B mixed in?

Today I went to get my vaccinations for the upcoming trip to the Dominican Republic, which I like to call "Drunk on our faces in the lawn while our security guard fishes our pants out of the pool" trip.

Needles hurt! I mean, I knew this. But really. I didn't KNOW this. I got vaccinations for hepatitis A, hepatitis B, typhoid, tetanus, diphtheria, and pertussis, and a prescription for anti-malaria pills. So basically, I'm now bionic and potentially light up under black lights. I'm the life of the party.

Just a little while ago I was emailing a friend about it and preening about how my arms didn't hurt at all.

I guess that just makes me a great big liar.

Ow.

On the up side, I look exceptionally Popeye-ish right now. Suuuuuuper buff.

So, I don't know if I ever told you guys this but I'm irrationally phobic about parasites. So bad, in fact, that I was able to dissect a pig in high school but not a worm. The worm was so disturbing to me I had to leave the room...and I cried. So disturbing that even typing the word now makes me want to vomit in my nose.

So clearly, I had to ask my doctor about the safeties of 3rd world countries and if she would just prescribe me a few rounds of charcoal pills now, you know, just in case.

There was a noticeable pause in the conversation and she just kind of looked at me blankly. I'm assuming it's because she was processing the genius of my forethought.

Immediately after that she said she was required to have me complete a survey on mental health because it's just something they do now with everyone, every visit.

I'm insisting assuming the two situations are mutually exclusive.

Lastly, I've seen posters in medical offices about proper methods of hand washing. But never have I seen one about hand RUBBING.

I feel like this should be given to teenage boys.

And this, because it's been a while...and I miss Weeds.

Shackin' up

Song for this post: "Love Me Honey Do" ~ Patsy Cline

O but what about love? I forget love 

not that I am incapable of love 

it's just that I see love as odd as wearing shoes- 

I never wanted to marry a girl who was like my mother 

And Ingrid Bergman was always impossible 

And there maybe a girl now but she's already married 

And I don't like men and- 

but there's got to be somebody! 

Because what if I'm 60 years old and not married, 

all alone in furnished room with pee stains on my underwear 

and everybody else is married! All in the universe married but me!

Ah, yet well I know that were a woman possible as I am possible 

then marriage would be possible- 

Like SHE in her lonely alien gaud waiting her Egyptian lover 

so I wait-bereft of 2,000 years and the bath of life. 

~Taken from "Marriage" by Gregory Corso

Happiness needs to be elevated to pandemia.

Song for this post: "Enjoy Yourself (It's later than you think)" ~ Louis Prima

Are people getting meaner? Or am I just noticing it more? Maybe it's like when you buy a blue car and then realize how many blue cars are on the road. My awareness of cruelty in the world is becoming Nietzschien.

It seems like every single day I see something awful. Like the father who was screaming at his infant on the ferry the other day while it cried hopelessly. Or the woman who kicked her dog as they crossed the street. Or me, when I ignored that poor woman on the boardwalk when all she asked for was help to get food.

It all breaks my heart so much that I get literally, physically nauseous when I think about it all, like feeling the emotions I felt in those moments might make me sick, because our bodies weren't meant to house that kind of negativity.

Maybe I notice it more because I'm out of the city. Maybe I notice because my island is slowly connecting to land.

I just know that everything makes me feel this horrible sense of despair and injustice, like I might lose it if we all don't start doing the right thing right now.

I want to crawl up on a clock tower and declare that we're all going to be happy, goddamnit, even if you all hate it.

Thanks for coming to my Pinterest party!

Song for this post: "Going Up The Country" ~ Kitty, Daisy, & Lewis

Last weekend I went to Portland to visit my sister, nieces, and close friend. I haven't seen them in months.

After a great weekend of quality time with my sister we found ourselves (myself, sister, and friend) sprawled out on my sister's bed talking to each other while "pinning" feverishly on our phones.

We pinned so hard my sister fell asleep.

I don't know if it's that we've become old and "boring," if we've become girlier, or if Pinterest really is just the coolest thing ever. But something about three 30-something women falling asleep from Pinterest exhaustion is crackin' me up.

"Thanks for coming to my Pinterest party guys! It was super fun!"



Shameless plug: If you click on the Pinterest symbol to the right you can see my pin wish list. :)

Malarkey, sleepovers, and pergatory via planning meetings

Sorry for being MIA for the last 2 weeks, guys. I'm still here. I've just been really busy with this new job which, BTW, is so fantastic I might pee a little from excitement. Even today when our budget planning meeting lasted 8 hours (and it's not done yet ugh...kill me now) I was still super happy to be there.

I. Love. It. There.

I've got the Lady's Quarterly Sleepover: Autumn Edition this weekend so I'll be sure to recap that debacle this coming week.

Also, did you guys catch the VP debate tonight?!?! I feel like, in a less civilized world, they would have thrown down. I gotta admit, watching those two grapple it out on camera would have been awesome. Biden would have growled and snarled and ripped off Ryan's pale, clammy arms and then beat his chest with them in victory.

At least, that's how I imagine it in my head...and we all know how bizarre it can get up in there.

If you missed the debate, watch it all below:

And please, for the love of kittens, unicorns, and gummy bears, get out and vote! Don't be that douche canoe who wants to tell us your opinion even though you didn't exercise your right to voice it when it mattered.

You're suspect!

Song for this post: "El Paso" ~ Marty Robbins

Sorry for not being around as much lately...and for being so obnoxiously serious! I'm letting this election consume my thoughts. Sorry ya'll.

Yesterday was my last day with the start-up I was working for. I'm taking a little mini-break before I start my new position with a really exciting tech association.

What am I doing with this free time, you ask?

Well, so far I've watched 2 sappy mid-90s movies about really smart people, caught up on laundry, pined over kittens, and requested feedback on how early is too early for putting up my Christmas tree. Really you guys. I think the end of September is fine! That'll give me a solid 4 months of Christmas in the house! I could just put Halloween decorations on the tree...

I'm still doing Friday Staff Meeting tomorrow. I'm actually taking a ferry to the mainland just for the sole purpose of having lunch and a beer with my now ex coworkers.

That's dedication to the team, right there.

There are things I want to tell you about our trip to Chicago (got back last week) but, honestly, I just can't. It was easily the funniest, most memorable work trip ever that resulted in 2 moments I will never forget and CAN NOT think about without laughing.

After struggling with it for a week, I decided it was best not to post about it. Kind of disparaging. But fuckin' hilarious. Just know that.

We set some records. That's for sure.

All day I've had that song that goes "Out in the west in the town of El Paso, I fell in love with a Mexican girl..." stuck in my head. Except my brain keeps saying "...I fell in love with a Mexican boy."

Support marriage equality. Marty Robbins inside my brain does. So should you.

When did anorexic become dazzling?

Song for this post: "Pocketbook" ~ Jennifer Hudson feat. Ludacris

This morning I caught up on the 64th Annual Emmy Awards. It was a good show and, for all the things I could talk about (the opening sequence, Tracy Morgan, Claire Danes...) there's really only one thing that sticks out in my mind as topic-worthy:

What the F#%$ happened to Kerry Washington?!?  All of the news coverage said she "dazzled." They said she was "glamorous," that she "shined" in gold.

Um. When did third-world-country-thin become glamorous?

This is not glamorous:

It's scary.

...and it sets a dangerous precedence about how women should look.

Let's face it. She's loaded and very easily has the resources at her fingertips for healthy meals, time management, childcare, weight training and just about anything else you can think of that would offer the leisurely lifestyle that leaves little excuse to be under-eating.

Don't get me wrong. Some women are naturally very thin. And that's great. I'm not saying you're not a "real woman" if you're thin. I'm just saying that THIS woman has lost a drastic amount of weight when she's been quite muscular her whole life. To say that being that unnaturally thin is "dazzling" is concerning.

Here's what she looked like for many many years:

You can see her in the Emmy's at the 96:36 mark at this link.

My neighborhood church has priorities

Song for this post: "The Impression That I Get" ~ The Mighty Might Boss Tones

Yesterday, on my way back from the pharmacy, I passed this church in the town I live in. This is about a half mile from my house.

Click to enlarge

For those of you who can't read it, it says:

DOCUMENTARY FRI 700PM

SEX AND MONEY

I don't know about you, but I'm thrilled to see a church showing documentaries on sex and money.

I bet a lot of people are going to show up!

Bella Hearts Cake

This is possibly one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Ever.

Thank you, Bad Lip Reading people, for finding something redeeming in a franchise I've struggled to tolerate.