Friday, May 25, 2012

Rose Was a Selfish B!$#@

Song for this post: "I Don't Mind if You Forget Me" ~ Morrissey

So, a little while back Titanic 3D came out.  There was advertising for it everywhere, all the women I know were, "so ttly excited" and I spent a chunk of my time bitching about what a horrible movie it was and how I can't, for the life of me, understand why someone would take an already terrible and painfully long movie and make it 3D.

It doesn't help that I hate romantic comedies. Really, I do.  I'm one of two females I know who don't like that sappy, lovey-dovey, makes-single-women-sit-in-their-living-rooms-and-cry-at-the-television-while-snuggling-a -makeshift boyfriend-huge-pillow, bullshit. The other woman is my Aunt Jackie. High five Aunt Jackie!

It's not that I don't like feelings (okay, I kind of don't) it's that all of those movies teach women to be emotionally weak and then let a big strong man sweep in and save the day in spite of the fact that they usually have zilch in common.  As long as she has him, she'll be a-okay. And they always end when she gets the guy. Then what? Why don't they ever show how it works out?  I'll tell you why: because it probably doesn't.

I'm not saying I'm jaded (okay, I kind of am). I'm just saying that we spend way too much time modelling our relationships after these impractical, overblown, fairy tale stereotypes and, more often than not, it's what causes the dysfunction that eventually destroys something you thought was supposed to be magical.

So ya. I hated Titanic. And Sweet November. And Never Been Kissed. And 27 Dresses. And I could go on for a while.

There are some exceptions, for sure.

I liked He's Just Not That Into You: Because it told women to stop playing head games, stop revolving around whether or not a guy likes you, live your own life, and just be yourself. Stop stressing over it.

When Harry Met Sally: Because, in the end, she ended up with her best friend and they did it by being totally themselves. No pretenses. No games. Just Harry and Sally. No sugar coating.

No Strings Attached: Because I can identify with her terror of commitment and "I am an island" mentality.  I'm workin' on it.

I guess what I'm saying in all of this is, WHY THE HELL didn't he hang on to the big door? Why was Rose so totally cool with letting him drowned in freezing waters after he went out of his way for her? There was room. Hell, she had an oversized wool coat on! She could have shared.

Selfish bitch.


  1. Dude, one more reason to be grateful that I'm not with my soon-to-be-ex-husband any more: no more chick flicks! I am SO with you on every point, but he is srsly into them! I'm not going to speculate on why, because I'm sure it's indicative of things I'd rather not dwell on right now.

  2. The Sweetest Thing. The chick flick exception.

    1. You are SO right! Love that movie. :)

  3. Well, didn't Jack try to get on? And the plank almost capsized? I could swear I remember that, but it's been a long time.

    Anyway, a plank like that wouldn't have had the buoyancy to keep two people completely out of the water. Consider the size of a wooden raft designed to hold just one person completely out of the water. There are smaller rafts, but they're for floating around with wet feet. They'd have died of cold on a raft like that. Or they'd have needed to amputate their feet. If they had the strength to stand. Which they didn't.

    Really , that's the thing that made that scene stupid for me. Consider: when people get too cold to shout, it's because their lungs get so cold that they have trouble simply breathing. Someone in that condition shouldn't be able to swim, but she goes right up to Officer Whistle in the freezing water.

    But Rose didn't leave Jack to die, Jack sacrificed himself to save her. If anyone's stupid there, it's Jack. But Rose is still a selfish bitch, for other reasons.

    For one, she throws the Heart of the Ocean away, when that historian-treasure-hunter guy has been searching for it for THREE YEARS and she's going to die in two hours anyway. This is his LIFE! Just let him have it!

    Secondly, her husband's fifty years of love and support between the Titanic and telling her little story to the treasure hunter? Yeah, I get the feeling that didn't matter all that much compared to her hot, sweaty time with her lower-class pretty-boy. Over fifty years, this would have manifested in dozens of ways that her husband would have picked up on, too.

    1. Okay. Who are you? What's your real identity Mr. Gooey Gooson with pictures of my nieces on your Google+?

  4. Oh, I'm Dia's friend from Texas. We've been friends for a little over a decade now, and I visited her once last summer. "Texas boyfriend."

    1. Yay! Well hello there. I'm thrilled you're here (and commenting).