Monday, February 13, 2012

Any felonies in the last 7 years?

Song for this post: "Terrorist Threat" ~ Ice Cube ...because, why not?

When I got this new house (13 days until I move in!) the landlord had to run a credit and background check on me. I've never had a background check run on me before so this was fairly exciting.  I was curious to see what kind of mischief I had been getting into right under my nose.

He was kind enough to deliver a copy of both my credit report and my criminal history to me when I signed the lease.

Since when does a criminal background check include terrorism?  Sex offense history, sure. But terrorism?  You can check for that? What's the bell curve there? What kind of algorithm is their system using to quantify that? Sex offenders I understand. You commit a sexual offense and it's on your record. But how many terrorists are applying for a rental? Honestly? Terrorists who have "terrorist" on their criminal record are probably not having background checks performed on them in Guantanamo. Just sayin'.

Much to my own dismay, it turns out I'm NOT a we've got that going for us.

Click to enlarge.

...or maybe that's just what I want you to think.

Um, in other news, I was letting Spotify just randomly choose music I've never heard. It played a lovely, dulcet, 80s New Wave tune a moment ago. It was nice. Then it followed it with this. It was a little jarring, to say the least. Now I need to find a way to cleanse my ears of the things I just heard.



  1. Landlord: So... ummm... any past record regarding terrorism?

    Me: Of course not! Terrorists are scum!

    Landlord: Alright then. What about piracy?

    Me: Arrrrrrr!!!!

    1. Is it bad that, the second I read the word "piracy," I think of Wesley?

  2. That's, uh, appropriate. I suppose.