Elk.

Song for this post: "More Than Words" ~ Extreme

As we discussed in this post, my new year's resolution was to delete my dating profiles, and it made me think about the way I interact with men, how I behave on dates, and some of the fun I've had in the last year...like the lying game.  That was fun.

For a good chunk of last year we had a running joke in our house (I have two female roommates) about what a disaster the dating pool was.  I should say again, as I said in the aforementioned previous post (I know that sounds grammatically redundant but I promise you, it's not), I dated a couple of really fantastic guys last year. On the whole, though, it was sort of a shit show.

So, in an effort to have some fun with the disastrous dates we were going on I made up a game: The Lying Game.  Here's how it went down:



1. I'd respond to the most ridiculous messages from the biggest dbags on a dating website I received.
2. I'd meet them for a date (White Porsche Guy was one of them).
3. I'd make up an outrageous lie as to why I couldn't go on a second date.
4. My girlfriends and I would meet for cocktails and laugh about it.

Heartless? Sure.  Hilarous? Absolutely.  And I only did it to real assholes so realistically, no good men were harmed in the making of this story.

Here's a few keepers:

"I can't go out tonight. I caught a baby elk and I have to nurse it back to health."

"I can't see you this weekend. My father is an astronaut and he's taking off from a classified location in northern California.  I'm taking a red-eye down there tonight."

At dinner: "I have to leave right now. I just caught cancer in the bathroom and I need to see a doctor right away."

"I have rabies."

Do I feel a little twinge of guilt about my misleading actions? A little. But my life tends to be sort of like a half hour sitcom. It also translates very well into print. These two observations sometimes lead me into some questionable behavior...

I guess it's creative license.