Friday, January 6, 2012


Song for this post: "More Than Words" ~ Extreme

As we discussed in this post, my new year's resolution was to delete my dating profiles, and it made me think about the way I interact with men, how I behave on dates, and some of the fun I've had in the last the lying game.  That was fun.

For a good chunk of last year we had a running joke in our house (I have two female roommates) about what a disaster the dating pool was.  I should say again, as I said in the aforementioned previous post (I know that sounds grammatically redundant but I promise you, it's not), I dated a couple of really fantastic guys last year. On the whole, though, it was sort of a shit show.

So, in an effort to have some fun with the disastrous dates we were going on I made up a game: The Lying Game.  Here's how it went down:

1. I'd respond to the most ridiculous messages from the biggest dbags on a dating website I received.
2. I'd meet them for a date (White Porsche Guy was one of them).
3. I'd make up an outrageous lie as to why I couldn't go on a second date.
4. My girlfriends and I would meet for cocktails and laugh about it.

Heartless? Sure.  Hilarous? Absolutely.  And I only did it to real assholes so realistically, no good men were harmed in the making of this story.

Here's a few keepers:
"I can't go out tonight. I caught a baby elk and I have to nurse it back to health."
"I can't see you this weekend. My father is an astronaut and he's taking off from a classified location in northern California.  I'm taking a red-eye down there tonight."
At dinner: "I have to leave right now. I just caught cancer in the bathroom and I need to see a doctor right away."
"I have rabies."
Do I feel a little twinge of guilt about my misleading actions? A little. But my life tends to be sort of like a half hour sitcom. It also translates very well into print. These two observations sometimes lead me into some questionable behavior...

I guess it's creative license.

1 comment:

  1. #2 is classic! I wonder if the dude that fell for the astronaut one actually looked up when he got home to see if Vandenberg AFB launches astronauts into orbit from there or not. Kind of how I've explained to women before that I'm in the Air Force, and they ask me in return if I'm a fighter pilot.