Thursday, January 19, 2012

Wherever they land, there shall they be buried!

It snowed in Seattle...

While most of the country would say, "so what," Seattlites act like it's the GD end of the world.  And, even though the reaction is wholly overblown, I suppose we do have some valid reasons for the hysteria:

1. Seattle's terrain is impressivly uneven.  There is a drastic elevation change just from downtown to nearby Capitol Hill neighborhood.  Most major roads are steep inclines making for black ice slip-n-slides if you try to drive on them.

2. Our major highways and freeways are built on bridges over bodies of water.  'nough said.

3. It NEVER snows here so the city only owns 3 snow plows and rarely salts.

4 is probably the BIGGEST issue.  People here never have to drive in snow so, basically, they have NO idea how. They think flying down I5 in their Mercedes at 80+ miles an hour on black ice is a good idea.  You can't blame them.  It's not their fault they were born with a permanent handicap that forces them to lack all common sense and reasoning skills.

Anyway, I've been stuck in the house for 2 days. I tried to leave yesterday and only made it 20 feet before slipping on the inch thick sheet of ice the ground had become.  So I remoted in to work and have been maintaining productivity from my bed.  I'm a little stir crazy.  I'm feeling a little pent up.  I'm just sayin', if this weather continues and you find my living room furniture has been turned in to a bonfire and there are primitive paintings of livestock and hand prints on the wall, and my roommates have been half eaten, I can't be held responsible for my actions.

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