Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Side effects may include...

Song for this post: "I Ain't Mad At Cha" ~ 2Pac

Aren't we all so glad the election is over? Aren't we all so glad I'm going to be blatantly irreverent again?

It's okay. Me too. Thanks for hangin' in there with me guys. It was tough. Hey! How about some awesome mid-week gangsta rap with some smooth-ass R&B mixed in?

Today I went to get my vaccinations for the upcoming trip to the Dominican Republic, which I like to call "Drunk on our faces in the lawn while our security guard fishes our pants out of the pool" trip.

Needles hurt! I mean, I knew this. But really. I didn't KNOW this. I got vaccinations for hepatitis A, hepatitis B, typhoid, tetanus, diphtheria, and pertussis, and a prescription for anti-malaria pills. So basically, I'm now bionic and potentially light up under black lights. I'm the life of the party.

Just a little while ago I was emailing a friend about it and preening about how my arms didn't hurt at all.

I guess that just makes me a great big liar.


On the up side, I look exceptionally Popeye-ish right now. Suuuuuuper buff.

So, I don't know if I ever told you guys this but I'm irrationally phobic about parasites. So bad, in fact, that I was able to dissect a pig in high school but not a worm. The worm was so disturbing to me I had to leave the room...and I cried. So disturbing that even typing the word now makes me want to vomit in my nose.

So clearly, I had to ask my doctor about the safeties of 3rd world countries and if she would just prescribe me a few rounds of charcoal pills now, you know, just in case.

There was a noticeable pause in the conversation and she just kind of looked at me blankly. I'm assuming it's because she was processing the genius of my forethought.

Immediately after that she said she was required to have me complete a survey on mental health because it's just something they do now with everyone, every visit.

I'm insisting assuming the two situations are mutually exclusive.

Lastly, I've seen posters in medical offices about proper methods of hand washing. But never have I seen one about hand RUBBING.

I feel like this should be given to teenage boys.

And this, because it's been a while...and I miss Weeds.

1 comment:

  1. I totally don't comment on your blog enough. You make me laugh my face off, sissy. <3