Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Today I failed.

Today on my way to the ferry terminal a homeless woman jumped in front of me quite suddenly and asked for assistance. Before I could really register what was going on, I told her I don't carry cash, which was the truth.

But it wasn't until after I said it that I realized she hadn't asked for money. She had asked me to help get her something to eat.

And it wasn't until I was past her that I realized she was crying.

And I didn't turn back.

I can't get her face out of my mind and I feel so, incredibly, terribly, and guiltily awful.

A crying homeless woman asked me for food and I kept moving.

What is wrong with me?!?!?!

Afterward I told myself I'd make it right. I'd do something tomorrow. I'd see her again. I'd see someone else. I'd get another chance to make the right choice.

But the thing is, that choice was in front of me at that moment. And I messed up. I chose the wrong thing.

Doing the right thing and helping the people around you isn't based on second chances. It's based on an unwavering moral compass.

I just wanna cry.

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