A petting zoo and a WHAT kind of massage?!?

Song for this post: "Your Love" ~ The Outfield

This weekend I got to dogsit. Nick got tickets to the beer festival and wanted to drink it up with friends from high school. So he brought his dog to my house for the weekend which worked out for me because I love Lita. I'd love to have a dog but I'm not home enough to be a good pet owner. Someday. Someday I'll publish well and won't have to work and I can get dobermans and write all day.

At least, that's the dream.

Anyway, Lita does this hilarious thing when she hears church bells...like, in a phone alarm:

She really hates church bells. But doesn't she totally sound like a dying ROUS?

She cracks me up.

Okay so, remember that theatre by my house I told you about that Joan Rivers was starting the zombie apocalypse at? You with me? Good.

Apparently the sadistic bastards who manage that theatre are going to torture us before they eat us by subjecting us to the worst kind of suffering entertainment:

Srsly. I didn't realize they were all still alive. You'd think at least one of them would have ended up in rehab or porn. Kudos to them...I guess. Way to live the dream. Way to keep it real. Way to hold on for one more day.

What else? The little place near my house that I go to breakfast at has this cute little breakfast cocktail called a "Manmosa." Because, apparently, there's a masculine way to drink champagne and juice.

I've been debating picking flowers in my garden and making a living room bouquet for weeks but haven't been able to bring myself to do it. I just feel like it's horrible to kill something for the sake of watching it slowly wilt in my living room and remind me of my own mortality.  But this morning was a reeeeeally rough morning. By 10:30 I was crying like a baby and wallowing in my own self pity so, after I pulled my sorry ass up off the couch and decided to do happy things, I made the executive decision to pick some damn flowers, put them in a vase, and cheer the fuck up. 

I'm cheery now, for sure. But I also feel like a murderer.

Sorry, flowers. It wasn't you. It was me. :/

Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! OMG so funny: This morning I did a Google search to find a massage place near my house and this popped up on the map:

Click to enlarge

Srsly?!?! WTF is a petting zoo/Turkish prostate massage parlor doing in my neighborhood?!?

Best. Google Business joke EVER. The review is pretty entertaining too. But probably not okay to post in full here.

Lastly, Seattle got a ferris wheel! :D